10-13-25

Just making it through, really. Trying to do this website thing bit by bit, byte by byte. Spending a lot of time now scrolling through the cool kid sites and peeping at their code, trying to understand what exactly they've done, and what it is I'm trying to create. For now, I'm happy enough with the basics while I figure out exactly what I'm doing here. I'm coming to terms with this being a place for me more than anything-- this isn't social media, this is my personal page. Feels like designing my bedroom, in a way. I tried to explain this to my temp therapist today, that I feel fulfilled having a creative project so intrinsically adverse to money making, not natively connected to anyone else. If I want to be connected to anyone else, I have to put in the active effort to do so. That feels empowering.

I picked up s-CRY-ed a couple days ago. This was one of the anime I got into when I was 12 years old and it still holds up as really interesting. It has one of the all time rivalries between Kazuma and Ryuho. I can't even hit it with a fujoshi beam, the hatred is too strong between them. I cracked up when Kazuma broke out of mind control just because the guy tried to make him and Ryuho become friends. It's so antithetical to his very being, he overcomes incredible brainwashing just to go punch Ryuho again. I am also reveling once more in how much I loved Scheris Adjani and Mimori Kiryu. Mimori in particular is capturing my attention this watch-through. I couldn't tell you what I thought of her before-- my memories of watching this show as it aired on adult swim in 2005 are shaped by being obsessed with Scheris and being so devastated by the ending that I cried until I threw up. It was 2am, and I had missed the first run earlier that night. I'm glad anime has more or less gotten easier to watch, but the stuff from my time, the forgotten wonders of 2003-2009, can still remain at large...

Maybe when I'm done with s-CRY-ed, I'll go ahead and watch OG Trigun and Code Geass since I have access to them. I can see about getting my hands on Van Helsing Ultimate as well, or perhaps give a rewatch to Cowboy Bebop 20 years later. Shits good.