11-16-25

Spent some time with friends today. We met up at a boba place. I've never had it before and wasn't sure if I would like the texture. It was toasted milk oolong tea. Ben a while since I had oolong, and I really am a fan of milk tea. Yes, my tummy hurts now, but it's fine. The place was cute, all pastel pink and plushies and books to read on some shelves. One friend and I brought our sketchbooks. He and I worked on some art, seperate but together. I started trying to sketch some portraits from a ref folder I keep on my phone, and ended up with a colorful portrait of my OC, Mizore. It was really satisfying to work with color pencils again. When I was in high school, they were my medium of choice, and I still clearly have a fair hand at it despite years of being out of practice. It's been difficult for me to do anything with art because I get hit so hard with perfectionism and frustration when I can't make something exactly how I want it.

I'm trying to remember some of the sage advice my high school art teacher gave me. Mrs. R had a word she considered an 'art swear' and would sound the alarm if she ever heard it: can't. We were never allowed to say 'I can't draw this' or 'I can't figure this out.' We had to reframe it. 'I'm having a lot of difficulty drawing this.' 'It's hard to understand this perspective.' By making us talk about things not as impossible but difficult, it became easier to ask for help. That in particular is something I could stand to bring back in my life. It really does help to act confident that things can be done.

As I slowly start creating again, I remember her teaching well. I think that was the time I was the happiest creating. Mrs. R was a realist artist and had us learn how to draw realistically before we broke it down. When I do realism myself now, I repeat some of her lessons in my head. Draw what you see, not what you know is there. Theory of color, how to layer color pencils, how to blend them. Hues, lightsources, depth of field. Everything is still there in my mind, I just have to coax it out.

I thought it would be interesting to find my old assignments and feedback and try to recreate some of the projects now at this age. There's some I know I have that were big, where I remember what the point of it was. A lot of it my mom still has. Maybe by having a sort of structure will make it easier to come up with more and more projects. I'm also reaching out to the local art council to see about joining, if they offer classes or meetups. Maybe seeing other artist working will be inspiring. I miss creating in conjunction with others, or just around each other. It is very satisfying.